You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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