If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
