I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
