Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Randomize
