I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize