I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
