So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
And then he peed in my hair
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