ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
not ubering you a puppy
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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