I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
