I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
