You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
