I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
