I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
