Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
