We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
