i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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