so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
