i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Randomize
