Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
