I think I died a long time ago.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
A bitchslap is in order.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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