On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
