i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
