Where are you?
In a non slutty way
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
