Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
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