My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
