Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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