yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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