i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
