Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
