everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
