In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
