I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
