My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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