Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
My cat gives me a boner
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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