i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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