youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
