By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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