I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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