I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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