Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
