Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
