Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
dude. I can hear the air.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
do nipples grow back?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
