Kiss
Puke
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
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