But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
