I showed him my bush... on skype.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
