Non-Jews are for practice
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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