a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Randomize
