Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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