Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
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