so explain again why im purple
no
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
